How to Use Your Negative Self-Image to Build Healthy Self-Confidence

How to Use Your Negative Self-Image to Build Healthy Self-Confidence

“You are the only one who can make a change for yourself. Whenever you catch yourself saying something negative, replace it with something positive.” ~Julie Reisler

I’ve always considered myself a relatively confident woman. I don’t see myself as overly-confident or conceited, but healthily confident in my abilities and my appearance.

When my journey with self-improvement  began back in 2015, though, I started paying more attention to my attitude toward myself. What I learned was surprising . . .

It’s easy to get trapped  in a cycle of negative thoughts. But, when you can turn those thoughts into more positive ones, everything changes.

My Most Common Negative Thoughts

Throughout my journey of self-discovery, I’ve realized that I have a tendency to compare myself to others, or compare where I am in my life in a given moment to where I thought I would be or even where I have been in the past.

Some of my recurring negative thoughts that I’m sure others can relate to include the following:

  • “That girl I’m friends with on Facebook graduated with me. She’s thin, pretty, has tons of friends, a high-status job and is always well-dressed. I wish I had a life like that.”
  • “I’m 25 and single. I always thought by now I’d be married with kids. There must be something wrong with me.”
  • “My co-worker’s makeup always looks perfect! By 9:00 a.m., mine always looks runny and disheveled. Why can’t I do makeup like that?”
  • “Every time I look in the mirror, I just feel fat and gross.”

Catching Myself in the Act

Paying more attention to these thoughts has helped me to vastly improve my attitude, my sense of self, and ultimately, my life.

When I catch myself thinking negative, comparative thoughts, I always do my best to find a way to put a positive spin on it.

Turning Those Negatives to Positives

Catching yourself in the moment with less-than-caring thoughts toward your own self, there is always a way to improve it.

Here are the ways I like to turn around my common negative thoughts:

  • “That girl I’m friends with on Facebook seems to be doing really well! Maybe I should scroll through my own timeline to see the snapshot of my life that others get to see. I’m not looking too bad myself!”
  • “I’m 25 and single. Someone really great must be headed my way, and in the meantime, I have this great opportunity to enjoy time with friends and family that I may not have as much of once a husband and kids are in the picture.”
  • “My co-worker’s makeup always looks perfect! I should ask her what brand she uses, maybe she could give me some tips.”
  • “Every time I look in the mirror, I have an opportunity to see my bright smile, my thick, wavy hair and my long legs. Damn, I’m looking good today!”

It’s Not Always Easy

Some days, it’s a breeze to feel great about yourself, and some days just plain suck.

Yesterday was a particularly difficult day for me. I spent most of the day feeling down on myself for a number of reasons. So, I woke up today determined to turn that around!

In the End, Self Confidence Makes Everything Better

When I’m feeling good about myself, everything changes:

  • Kindness toward others comes more naturally
  • I am more productive both at home and at work
  • Kicking a work-outs ass is easy
  • I’m able to relax at the end of the day

Catching ourselves in negative thoughts is the first step to building healthy self-confidence. 

Turning a negative thought to a positive one, or even making a point of beginning each day with three positive thoughts about yourself will ultimately improve your attitude, and your life.

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