“Overcoming difficulties leads to courage, self-respect, and knowing yourself.”
Within a month of saying “yes” to the love of my life, we found ourselves on the couch of a counselor’s office. Many people may learn this and ask “what went wrong?” “why did you go through with the marriage?”
Honestly, those would be ridiculous questions.
Not only is there no shame in seeking counseling early in marriage, it can be very beneficial to your relationship!
There Doesn’t Have to Be a Problem
I started seeing a counselor when I realized that some other relationships in my life were not as healthy as I thought they were. The difficulties I was dealing with in those relationships were taking over my entire life and I didn’t know how to fix it.
Though our relationship was solid, Hubs came along to a couple of those sessions to support me and wound up actively participating.
What we learned during these early counseling sessions shaped the way we have resolved conflicts in our relationship ever since. With a third party evaluating the way each of us handles difficulties, stress or even just frustrating experiences, we each learned about ourselves and about each other.
Counseling Will Help You Identify Your Relationship’s Strengths & Weaknesses
Once he started coming along, my counselor got to know Hubs, too. So, she was able to put together some pieces of the puzzle that is our relationship.
She helped me put words to why his personality balances mine so well, why we’re such a great fit for each other. She also helped me to identify some of his behaviors that may bother me at times and put those behaviors into the big picture to see that they really aren’t that big a deal.
You’ll Start Your Marriage with the Right Tools for Success
Through my one-on-one sessions with my counselor, we were able to dive deep into the reasons I react to certain situations the way I do, how to monitor my emotions to be sure I am responding instead of reacting, and when it may be best just to remove myself from a situation altogether.
It was particularly helpful when Hubs came along to these sessions and could learn alongside me. He was able to enter into our marriage with an understanding of circumstances that may upset me and, more importantly, how to help me see the warning signs and overcome a reaction I’d regret later.
In short, we learned the best way to “choose our battles,” and then discuss the issues with love, rather than anger.
Counseling is a Positive Tool
Counseling has a lot of negative connotations, especially in marriage. The truth is, when used as a tool for strengthening a great relationship, that’s all it is: A Tool.
Just like we eat healthy foods and exercise to prevent physical illness, a few counseling sessions while things are going well can help to maintain a successful relationship.